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Worried?
I've been thinking about something Butterfly Wife left in a comment. DH said something similar the first time he got online.
How are you doing? I get concerned when I read blog posts about not leaving the house or eating, babe.
The latter is one of the reasons I was hesitant to allow him to read my blog when he deployed this time. I don't want him to worry when he has a job to do. The posts he referred to were the first week. We all know the first week is awful. I knew it would be awful before it happened and I planned accordingly. I'm a big girl. I can and will get through this.
The former is so very sweet, but makes me wonder if I'm giving the wrong impression. Most of the time, I'm pretty okay. The waterworks are only opening occasionally, I'm eating and trying to get out, do things, have human contact. I started the first step in remodeling this house by painting the bathroom this week. I've got my foot in the door for a military related non-profit volunteer position. I have an application for a P/T job here in town that I just need to turn in once I get my previous employment details (I need to call them again ...).
What I'm getting at is that this blog is an outlet for me. It's not necessarily a chronicle of my day to day life so much as somewhere to vent, to write about things that people in my every day life don't really understand. Things like standing at the dryer for several minutes and sniffing a shirt I'd forgotten was in the hamper because it smelled like him. (I couldn't put it in the washer either.) Or being awake at crazy hours of the night because I miss and worry about my husband.
My blog isn't going to be a 'happy go lucky, stay positive the whole deployment' kind of blog. It doesn't mean I'm not surviving or that I'm depressed, it's just my way of coping. We all have our methods, our outlets; this is mine. What I write here is just one portion of my life rather than the whole picture.
DH, Butterfly Wife, thank you for caring enough about me to worry. I'm doing okay, I promise. Thanks to all of you who comment with support, advice, and most of all, understanding. It means the world to me and keeps me writing.
6 comments
Keep blogging away my friend.
Blogging is an outlet. I use mine the same way. My husband tells me he worries about me when he reads mine and all it seems to reflect is a dark mood. Luckily, I have been able to be in closer contact with my husband than just the blog, or primarily the blog. Of course, our husbands probably aren't reading our comments elsewhere to see that we are really doing OK.
When I have been down before, and I know I am posting about that, I usually send my husband an email warning him that I am posting something that might make him worry, and that it is not reflective of my entire disposition at this time. He reads my emails before he reads my blog. I know my husband would worry about me regardless of what I did or did not write on the blog. That's just his nature.
Here's a big hug. :hug
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