The above is a pretty good description of my recent days. I've often heard deployments referred to as roller coasters and that is a wonderfully accurate description. The past couple of weeks though, it's as if someone transferred me to a high speed, really intricate version. We're at about 30 days to his homecoming now and I feel as if I'm losing my mind.

One minute I'm freaking out because the house isn't done. The next I'm grumpy about something completely trivial. After that I'm all but jumping out of my skin because it's almost over. Then I find myself dealing with anticipatory grief again, fervently hoping and praying nothing happens to him when he's almost within my grasp. The last three times we've chatted on IM, I have cried as we said goodbye. He even saw me cry on the webcam, despite my smile and concentrated effort not to wipe the tears (should've bought a cheaper webcam, I suppose). I'm alternately completely lazy and want to stay in bed or over productive and cannot sit still.

I don't know what my deal is but the best comparison I can seem to make is PMS. It's crazy!

I don't want to be around people right now because I'm afraid I'll either bite someone's head off or burst into tears and cry on their shoulder without meaning to. I sure hope I don't start crying at work, that probably isn't what my customers want with their coffee! "Do you need room for cream, Ma'am? How about some tears with that?" I can just see it!

I was about this insane before the deployment started, but I didn't quite expect it as we neared the end. Is it just me or is this common?