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He's gonna kill me for this ....
... but he admitted that he teared up on the bus.
Talk about tugging on my heart strings.
I was trying to soothe his worries a bit and let him know I'm doing a lot better this time than I was after the last two deployments. It's nowhere near easy, but I'm not quite as devastated.
ironically, i had a tougher time leaving this time
that, or i got something in my eyes on the bus
Awwww. 
I'm so lucky to have such an awesome relationship with my husband. As much as these deployments suck, they really demonstrate how phenomenally wonderful the man I married is. 
It's a true silver lining among the storm clouds.
5 comments
Your perspective is refreshing. Makes me want to cry less when I think of you.
08/15/09 @ 23:48
Yeah, that definitely deserves an Aw!
08/17/09 @ 16:55
I teared up reading the last week's worth of posts. I don't know how you do it. I really don't....
09/02/09 @ 00:30
Comment from: hi. [Visitor] 
Hi, my name is Alyssa,
I know that this is about deployment but I just need some advice from someone who has maybe been through the same situation as me. My situation is only a mission, a small week long one. I have been dating my soldier for a little over 4 months. He is in the army and stationed at Ft. Leonard Wood Missouri. I live in Michigan. Anyways, his name is Ben, we met in July this year when he was on leave. and everything went so well,I visited him and he has come to visit me (I told him not to risk getting in trouble but hes stubborn he never got caught though)Things were great until mid October. I went down to visit him with his mom for his birthday. Now I will admit this didn't go over very well at all, It was different I felt like we had no time to be alone and be a couple. he talked to me about how he didn't like my attitude and I agreed that I wasn't in the greatest of all moods. Normally I am a bubbly out going girl. I was Not Myself. I went down to Missouri to visit the weekend of Halloween. He was going to come home but with a mission so close he thought it was to much of a risk so I told him I could come see him if that was alright with that and i asked him if he was sure...several times. The night that I arrived was awesome as perfect as ever. I always love that first hug, its a relief to be back in his arms.Well, one issue that both of us have with this long distance relationship is we both have different habits that we do when were not with each other. his is sleep. I wanted to go and do something, heck I just drove 9 hrs to sleep???? I can do that at home. I told him he could sleep and I was going to go to the store,I think i was a bit to hasty about this.then the rest of the day we were fine. the rest of the weekend we were fine. I was going to leave that Monday morning,I found someone to cover my shift at work and talked to him on his lunch, he was so happy, he had tears in his eyes.(he wont admit this but he told me at the time) anyways he is a mechanic. His passion is working on cars, that whole day he had been at work I had been at one of the wives in his units houses, visiting, we ran all over town and all I wanted to do was see him when he finally got out of work. he had other plans, to work on a car. I didn't want to watch that, I was hungry and wanted to spend time with him. well anyways Wednesday rolled around. He was packing for a final inspection before he left, I was helping him at 5 in the morning. we were joking around and I thought everything was fine. we said our goodbyes and he was off to work. apparently I didn't pay closer attention or something. I knew this mission was stressing him out( he has never deployed before or even left base!!!) I ended up going to sleep and waking up around 7 I was supposed to leave by then. I didn't leave till ten because I sat in the driveway crying. I didn't want to leave no one ever wants to, he told me to be strong and then said you have to leave. I left. He had an early day, all I asked for was a phone call someone to talk to during that 9hr drive. I got home and talked to him everything seemed fine. He mentioned that he was angry with me for leaving late. and that was that. Thursday he was on the convoy and called, I asked if we were ok and he said for now, he asked me for space. I didn't give it to him. Friday i received a phone call that I missed, I love you I'm turning off my phone goodnight. I waited all day for that. I was upset. Saturday was 4 months all day I called and texted this continued on to Sunday, Monday morning I got on my face book to discover that he had changed our relationship to complicated. I completely flipped out,we finally talked and he told me he just wanted to be done... I was so confused, I had no idea that our relationship had come to this. I then only sent him 1 or 2 texts a day and called on Friday because I was hearing from all the wives that their husbands were home.I just wanted to hear his voice. he called Saturday morning and we talked.he still said he wanted to be done, he said he wanted to continue this relationship when hes out of the army.I then decided i need to relieve some stress and hang with some friends on Sunday,I ended up drinking and called him at 2am, he was so angry. he is not normally like this. hes usually caring and kind a big teddy bear. His mom called me and said I blew it, his brother called me and said salvage what I have left. I know I should have given him the space he asked for, I am now. I haven't contacted him since Monday morning to apologize. i don;t understand where it went so wrong. I just wish he would talk to me because seeing all of this online, it feels like the whole world knows what is going on with my relationship before me. It seems as if he is slowly erasing me from his life...I don't know what to do.
I know that this is about deployment but I just need some advice from someone who has maybe been through the same situation as me. My situation is only a mission, a small week long one. I have been dating my soldier for a little over 4 months. He is in the army and stationed at Ft. Leonard Wood Missouri. I live in Michigan. Anyways, his name is Ben, we met in July this year when he was on leave. and everything went so well,I visited him and he has come to visit me (I told him not to risk getting in trouble but hes stubborn he never got caught though)Things were great until mid October. I went down to visit him with his mom for his birthday. Now I will admit this didn't go over very well at all, It was different I felt like we had no time to be alone and be a couple. he talked to me about how he didn't like my attitude and I agreed that I wasn't in the greatest of all moods. Normally I am a bubbly out going girl. I was Not Myself. I went down to Missouri to visit the weekend of Halloween. He was going to come home but with a mission so close he thought it was to much of a risk so I told him I could come see him if that was alright with that and i asked him if he was sure...several times. The night that I arrived was awesome as perfect as ever. I always love that first hug, its a relief to be back in his arms.Well, one issue that both of us have with this long distance relationship is we both have different habits that we do when were not with each other. his is sleep. I wanted to go and do something, heck I just drove 9 hrs to sleep???? I can do that at home. I told him he could sleep and I was going to go to the store,I think i was a bit to hasty about this.then the rest of the day we were fine. the rest of the weekend we were fine. I was going to leave that Monday morning,I found someone to cover my shift at work and talked to him on his lunch, he was so happy, he had tears in his eyes.(he wont admit this but he told me at the time) anyways he is a mechanic. His passion is working on cars, that whole day he had been at work I had been at one of the wives in his units houses, visiting, we ran all over town and all I wanted to do was see him when he finally got out of work. he had other plans, to work on a car. I didn't want to watch that, I was hungry and wanted to spend time with him. well anyways Wednesday rolled around. He was packing for a final inspection before he left, I was helping him at 5 in the morning. we were joking around and I thought everything was fine. we said our goodbyes and he was off to work. apparently I didn't pay closer attention or something. I knew this mission was stressing him out( he has never deployed before or even left base!!!) I ended up going to sleep and waking up around 7 I was supposed to leave by then. I didn't leave till ten because I sat in the driveway crying. I didn't want to leave no one ever wants to, he told me to be strong and then said you have to leave. I left. He had an early day, all I asked for was a phone call someone to talk to during that 9hr drive. I got home and talked to him everything seemed fine. He mentioned that he was angry with me for leaving late. and that was that. Thursday he was on the convoy and called, I asked if we were ok and he said for now, he asked me for space. I didn't give it to him. Friday i received a phone call that I missed, I love you I'm turning off my phone goodnight. I waited all day for that. I was upset. Saturday was 4 months all day I called and texted this continued on to Sunday, Monday morning I got on my face book to discover that he had changed our relationship to complicated. I completely flipped out,we finally talked and he told me he just wanted to be done... I was so confused, I had no idea that our relationship had come to this. I then only sent him 1 or 2 texts a day and called on Friday because I was hearing from all the wives that their husbands were home.I just wanted to hear his voice. he called Saturday morning and we talked.he still said he wanted to be done, he said he wanted to continue this relationship when hes out of the army.I then decided i need to relieve some stress and hang with some friends on Sunday,I ended up drinking and called him at 2am, he was so angry. he is not normally like this. hes usually caring and kind a big teddy bear. His mom called me and said I blew it, his brother called me and said salvage what I have left. I know I should have given him the space he asked for, I am now. I haven't contacted him since Monday morning to apologize. i don;t understand where it went so wrong. I just wish he would talk to me because seeing all of this online, it feels like the whole world knows what is going on with my relationship before me. It seems as if he is slowly erasing me from his life...I don't know what to do.
11/18/09 @ 09:23
this is my website... sorry.
11/18/09 @ 09:32
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