She Who Waits

"They also serve who only stand and wait." - John Milton

"Are you excited about decorating?"

People keep asking me if I'm excited about getting the house set up and decorated while my husband is gone. Part of me just wants to stare at them and say no, but then I feel rude. I usually just try to quickly change the subject.

The truth is, I have zero emotional attachment to this house. None. Zilch. I've hung one thing on the wall in the 6 weeks we've lived here and just don't have a whole lot of motivation to do much else.

I spent all of the last deployment working on our other house to make it ours, make it a home. It was a good project and kept me busy. Then I was told we were leaving 4 months after he got home ... awesome. I'm so glad I put all of that work into the house only to leave it for renters. I think that's part of the problem here; I'm waiting for the shoe to drop.

It doesn't feel like a home to me, it feels like a house. Sure our belongings are here but it just seems like we put stuff in here, if that makes any sense. I don't feel like we've really had any time to be here as 'us' or that my husband has really spent much time here at all - that's probably a big part of the problem too.

The other issue is that I don't care for a lot of our big furniture items. I don't like the dining set in this house (it was fine in our other but looks very out of place here), I don't like the entertainment center, and I don't really like any of the decor we have either. I just don't want to go spend the $$ to buy all new stuff, so I haven't done anything.

Blah. That's just how I feel about it ... blah.

Anyone want to come decorate an entire house? I'm tempted to leave it bare.

Posted Under Day to Day, Deployment on 08.23.2009

4 comments

Comment from: Killjoy [Visitor] Email · http://www.freeicecreamforeveryone.wordpress.com
I feel the same way about my new place. I've been here 22 days and I already know that this is not/will not be a "home". It's a place where me and the kids are staying until he gets back. Then we'll move to a home. OUR home. I do have the kids though, so decorating to make it feel like A home is important, but still hard. I got rid of some of our big furniture and am taking my sweet time replacing it.
08/23/09 @ 16:06
Comment from: Carmen [Visitor] Email
I understand the feeling. 18 months here and still hardly a single picture hanging on the wall. Thi sis not my home, I don't want to decorate it.

Hopefully it will feel a bit more like home for you soon. It sucks living in a place that feels like nothing more than a roof over your head.
08/23/09 @ 23:36
Comment from: liberal army wife [Visitor] Email · http://plarmywife.blogspot.com/
I've learned to nest. I try to get the pictures up and the little dust catchers around - I've always moved, being State Dept brat and Army Wife, and it makes me feel better. No, most things don't fit! but it will work for now. and that's the important part.

LAW
08/24/09 @ 07:18
Comment from: maoms [Visitor] · http://maoms
Think of the house as practice. One day you eill really be in one place. It seems a long way away right now but the time does come.
Why don't you try some paint. It can be very calming and if you don't like the color you can change it and he will never know. I think I painted ne of my rooms 3 times during one deployment.(could not find the right color. It was a small room , one gallon.
My husband says we are staying in this house.....now I am fairly good at picking colors.
Are there any wives nearby. You need to be able to do something with someone.
09/01/09 @ 11:20

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