My husband and I had an interesting conversation in the car last night and it occurred to me that not many outside the situation would understand it.

He was talking about how it would almost be a relief to deploy, the guilt from working 16+ hour days and being gone all the time for training would be over. He could just go focus on the job. Someone outside the situation would likely look at that and think "Wait, he doesn't feel guilty over leaving for many months but feels guilty for working long days?!" I totally got what he was saying though. The deployment is what it is, we have no control over that. He has to go, it's just fact. There will be some level of deployment guilt there for him I'm sure, but he can at least just go get it started without coming home at 8pm to just eat dinner and go to bed exhausted most nights.

I told him I was ready for him to just go already too. I despise this anticipation build up right before they leave. Thankfully he understood my side of it as well. I'd rather just get it started so it can be over with, I'm tired of the stress related to just getting them on the bus.

I do have to wonder in what other situation our feelings would be understood.

"I'm ready to leave."

"I'm ready for you to leave too."

Such is the deployment roller coaster, I suppose.