I've had a few down days lately and I've been missing my husband something fierce.

My surgery date is still most likely weeks away and I think I've made a mistake in letting myself visualize the comfort of actually having my husband home for it now that it's a likely possibility. I'm constantly craving that emotional support he provides over more than just email and the physical affection that comes with it. More than anything, I just want to lean on him, get a hug when I need it.

I don't typically let myself think of this sort of thing during deployments unless I'm having 'one of those days,' so it's weird for me to be dealing with this so intensely right now, mid-deployment. I get into my groove of daily routine and try not to miss him so much until bedtime, then get up and do it all over again. I've found that overly difficult the past few days and it's starting to wear on me. I actually took a day off today and stayed mostly on the couch. Hopefully tomorrow is better.